Where

So after my post last week, circumstances did change. My parents made a settlement with the guy I got in a car accident with. I found a ride to go to St. Leo's and home for MLK aka 4 day weekend and it was a really nice break. I got my emotions settled and reconsidered some aspects in my relationship. For the first time in a long time I felt like everything was going to be okay. I realized lately I had been in a funk.. literally feeling like I was caged in emotions, worries, fears, and I don't know what else. Anyways this week I promised myself to not be closed off to the rest of the world and try to go out at night or have lunch with someone rather than alone or talk to old friends again and when I did feel like being by myself I'd rely on God and talk to him. So yes, things have been so much better this week. Last night particularly I finally went out on the infamous Thursday night everyone always go out on and I had a blast. But here I am, it's Friday night and I'm the spending it by myself in my dorm. I honestly haven't seen and talked to anyone in person all day. I miss being able to drive. I would have gone away this weekend out of town or just a shopping trip at the mall literally ten minutes away. I'm trying not to let circumstances get to me but they do. Either way, I've felt like I've had a lot of forced companionship. Things with my two closest friends here have changes since the semester started so I don't feel like I have as much of a home base here as I used to and I hate it. And the fact that I don't have a roommate who is here. Someone I wanted to get back to in my dorm and have some sort of relationship with. I know things will be better next term when I live with those two friends. Anyways, I know things will be better in a couple months when I get my car back. I know the cold weather will go away and I'll be more likely to do more with my day or night in general. I love it up here, I really do. I just don't think I always have my heart here. And  part of me is in three other places four hours down. I wish where I wanted to be was in one place because only having part of my heart wherever I am just sucks.